Why do people gossip?  To hurt people?  To make themselves feel better?  What truly is the purpose of pitting people against each other?  How does one have that much hate in themselves or such low self-worth to treat another person in such a way?  Clearly I don’t have the answers or I wouldn’t be in the situation that I am, the victim of said gossip.  Ok, victim is a strong word, it is just gossip after all.  Right???

In my whole world of insecurities and my moments of poor self-confidence did it ever occur to me to talk shit about two separate ‘friends’ in order for them to like me best, or hate each other most (you decide).  As a mother of a tween boy in middle school I am starting to see the friendship dramas and all the things that go along with being an adolescent; that drama stuff sucks, big time.  It is so easy for me to tell him to shake it off, what people say don’t matter, however, I have been through and survived his current friendship woes, thus bringing me to the here and now….why would an educated adult act in this manner?  This is such a high school act, that said, I left high school a LOOONNNGGG time ago.  I don’t need any more assistance in making friendship decisions and I sure as shit don’t need anyone to facilitate a play date with another adult in order for said gossiper to be in the know of neighborhood happenings.  I am capable of forming my own thoughts and opinions.  I am a serial benefit-of-the-doubter, just like in M’s class, everyone starts out on Green but when you screw up you move your pin to yellow or red.  Once someone hits yellow with me the guard goes up and there is very little to get it back down.  Insert Snarky Bitch…..  My trust in you is lost and there is little chance of recovery.  It has nothing to do with being mad and holding a grudge or being better than someone else, it has everything to do with how I choose to handle relationships.  I consider myself a very private person, getting in my circle is hard, staying there is much harder.  No, I’m not referring to my circle of friends; I’m referring to my ‘you mean so much to me, I would drop what I’m doing for you.’  Once could say that’s judgment, I say that’s the way I am, one of my quirks….don’t fool yourself, we all have them. 

There is nothing more I would love to do than confront said Mean Girl but that just isn’t my style, neither is retaliation gossip.  It serves no purpose.  What I have to do is rise above and act like the adult of the group which is what I have been doing all along.

In the end, everyone has partaken in gossip.  I don’t care if you are the most devout Christian on the very edge of sainthood, feed the hungry, volunteer at the local animal shelter kind of good, etc., etc., you have gossiped.  When you hear the following the phrases, you are fixing to or just heard something juicy:

‘I don’t want to be ugly, but, INSERT GOSSIP’

‘Please don’t say anything to anyone, but, INSERT GOSSIP’

‘I feel so bad for saying this, but, INSERT GOSSIP’

‘I just don’t know what to do, what do you think, INSERT GOSSIP’

‘INSERT GOSSIP, poor baby!’

‘INSERT GOSSIP, bless her heart!’

‘INSERT GOSSIP, please don’t say I said anything’

The list goes on and on, the above are my trigger phrases for gossip……when I hear the above I know I am fixing to hear something I should probably stop said gossiper from continuing, but I don’t.  That makes me just as liable for gossip.  I could give a million and one excuses as to why I needed to hear something that isn’t my business, but, again, that keeps me on the level of said gossiper.  Yes, I have gossiped and I have thrived on listening to gossip.  I’ll own it…..

Are you freaking tired of reading me talk about gossip?  I am freaking tired of thinking about it and giving it the attention this drama doesn’t deserve.  As I get older and I see the cattiness of what my children face I realize that gossip doesn’t nothing but hurt, whether you are on the giving or receiving end of gossip, it doesn’t matter, you are still engaging in the hurt of another. OK, ENOUGH this time.  I’m done now let me jump off my horse.

xoxo

I have been thinking a lot about Rocky’s mom (see Grocery Store Gripes), Rocky, and his little sister who was sitting in the cart screaming at the top of her lungs.  In todays day and age so many people would give Rocky’s mom THE look (you know, the one your SIL gives your BIL silently indicating that my kids are the shit beneath her shoe? yeah, that one.) and get away as fast as they can, leaving a smoke trail.  And while they are running they are probably passing judgment on Rocky’s mom.  Mind you, when I first turned down the aisle and heard all the commotion my first thought was, “Awe shit…..all I wanted was some pencils.”  It was immediately after that thought that RM and I made eye contact and I realized that, like anyone else with or without kids, she is just trying to get through this part of her day.  Everyone does that, the day turns shitty and your immediate thoughts turn to phrases such as ‘patience is a virtue,’ ‘this too shall pass,’ ‘please, just let me get through this,’ etc, etc.  Again, we all do it.  RM was trying to get the little man’s school supplies at mock speed, a task that shouldn’t be taken lightly as those school supply lists are from the devil himself.  Our eye contact indicated a moment of understanding.  Rocky was acting like, well, I guess, Rocky and little sister was in the cart screaming her head off fixing to spew split pea soup from every orifice.  Having to have recently purchase school supplies I could feel RM’s pain.  I wanted to tell her that I know this sucks donkey balls but it’ll be ok, she didn’t need that from me, she just needed to say ‘F- it, I’ll come back another time,’ thus leading me into my biggest pet peeve, passing judgment on others.

Thinking back I have always worried about what people think of me, what people say about me, what others opinions of me and my actions and I have always held what someone else thinks to a much higher regard than my own thoughts and opinions.  Growing up, Jennifer and I were always so polished and good mannered that we always seemed Stepford like.  I mean, I was considered the wild child because I always have to get the last word and don’t always want to take someone else’s crap, but that is the worst that it got.  My parents never had to nurse a hangover, I NEVER tried drugs, there was a Playboy magazine incident with a friend and a sleepover but we will just gloss right over that one, past is the past……right?  At any rate, we were good kids because my mother was concerned about what others thought about her children and worked very hard to make us those good kids.  Now, at 37-years-old I am very thankful for that up bringing but I am also at the point that I am so over the judgment.  I’m tired of the hushed whispers about what I’m wearing, my weight, my kids, my hair, my house, yadda, yadda, yadda……get a F*#^ing life!!!!  When I hear the whispers or see the looks my first thought is to say, “who the hell are you?  at what point did you become better than me?”  And that’s where it all lies, the holy grail, that snarky ‘I’m better than you, because….’ attitude.  I also want to thank those people because they have helped me decrease my judgment by 90% (random #, sounds good though?); it is because of those people that when I see the Rocky’s of the world my first thoughts aren’t about lack of parenting but how cute he/she is, or any other immediately noticeable redeeming quality.  I want to pass good judgment, be the good person, because that is who I am and that is who I want to be.  Yes, I want other people to know that about me…..I’m not always a snarky bitch, I do use my powers for good some of the time it’s just that you may not always see that goodness.  Why do you have to see the good to form an opinion?  Why can’t one just keep open-minded until ACTUAL interaction?  All in all, it’s not my place to judge RM, or anyone else for that matter.  Yes, we shared eye contact and a brief smile but that was it….does she use her powers for good or evil?  Who knows?  I sure as shit don’t because I don’t know her thus I cannot pass judgment.  Are we getting my theme here people?  What I do is really none of your damn business, and, I have finally gotten to the point in my life where I do things for myself and not what others think I should do.

Not to beat a dead horse into the ground (such a horrible phrase isn’t it?), but we live in a world of freedom and goodness, so, why, pray tell, must we pass judgment upon others?  Do something else that makes you feel better about yourself.  Here is a novel thought, focus on your life and what you can do to be better rather than looking down your nose at your fellow man.  The last time I checked we all came from the same place, regardless of sex, race, religion, music choice (I could go on and on but I won’t), you are no better than me and if you need me to kick you off your high horse then I am your girl…………….so, call me, maybe?

I’m done with my judgment rant for the moment but this is something I feel so strongly about that this won’t be the last you hear about this topic.  Got to get the kids up and going!!

Toodles

xoxo

Another stupid app test. I just might pull my hair out if this doesn't work!!

Posted with Blogsy

I love how when I added the new post I got a little “Congratulations on your 2nd blog post!”  The thing is, that wasn’t my second post…..it was my third.  Shush!!  That means something to me, three posts.  All be it one of those posts was a picture I am supposed to have three damn posts.  Now where did that last one go?  I’ll look for it and get back to you but, please, what ever you do, don’t hold your breath waiting for it as there is no telling where it went.

With the above said, I have been playing around with different apps on my iPad that would allow me to update my blog without having to use my laptop.  Guess the app I used for the missing entry is a no go and I head back to the drawing board.  There is something about good old fashioned typing on a laptop that makes me love posting all the more.  I could read so much into this….. maybe that post was stupid and that was the app’s way of telling me so or maybe I should just sit my fat ass down with my laptop and give this all I’ve got.  The latter wins out!  I’ll continue to try apps out because I have a horrible case of CRS (Can’t Remember Shit) and often need something in a pinch to get my thoughts out but in the end sitting here at my laptop in my blogging world makes my heart smile.

Topic change!!  And what a random change I have made…..Christian Grey, anyone?  Don’t get too excited, I was just wondering if Christian would be buying the Tesla for Anastasia since it’s supposed to be the safest car out there (according to recent reports).  If I was in this situation, which I never see myself as being, I would stick with the SAAB convertible.  Why?  Shit, I don’t know, because I want to.  Saying I drive a Tesla makes me feel like I am driving the rock band Tesla….just doesn’t seem right.  Oh well…..

Enough of the randomness for the moment, but don’t worry, I am full of random thus I shall return.  In the meantime, Don’t Cry For Me Argentina.  xoxo